|About the Book|
I knew shed had a mastectomy in May of 2008. I knew in my heart it didnt matter what her chest would look like without the right breast. I guess to men, it is just an appendage or something to play with, but for a woman, it is a whole differentMoreI knew shed had a mastectomy in May of 2008. I knew in my heart it didnt matter what her chest would look like without the right breast. I guess to men, it is just an appendage or something to play with, but for a woman, it is a whole different ballgame. Debbie and I had talked about it occasionally but never in real depth. I always told her it didnt matter, and I loved her just the way she was. Yet I remember seeing the apprehension in her eyes and the thoughts of disbelief. Losing a breast in her eyes was, in a way, losing a part of her womanhood. She had nursed her children with them. She had provided her body with pleasure from them and now she only had one. I guess it might be like a man losing the loss of an arm or a leg, but Im not sure that is a fair comparison.We walked up the stairs hand in hand. She had that wonderful girlish smile on her face, kind of like when we were in high school, and my parents were out for the evening. We entered her bedroom and immediately fell on the bed with arms wrapped around each other, kissing long and hard. The anticipation of making love to her again was boiling up deep inside of me. I am thinking of the pleasures we are both going to share. Our lips are locked hard against each other. Breathing was difficult but not necessary. I ran my hand over her smooth warm chest. She cooed at my touch. I could feel her body starting to tremble from my touch, but there was something just a little amiss. I could also feel hesitancy in her movements. She wanted to start undressing but wasnt ready. Our lips parted, I looked into her deep brown eyes, and asked her if something was wrong. She partly smiled and said, “No, everythings fine.” Her answer told me different.I raised myself off of her and sat on the edge of the bed. “Debbie, I love you the way you are. Your physical appearance is not who you are, okay?” She said not a word. The thought of what she might think, and my reaction of seeing her bare naked chest minus one breast hit me like a ton of bricks. I got up and walked toward the light switch. “Debbie, would you like for me to turn off the light?”She looked at me, her brown eyes starting to fill with tears, “No Jeff, please, leave the light on.” I stood by the switch gazing into her eyes. It wasnt necessary for us to make love for me to love her. The only thing I wanted was to be around her and love her.She lowered her head and slowly removed her robe, letting it slide onto the bedspread. I walked toward the bed not taking my eyes off of her face. This a monu-mental moment for her and me. I saw the thoughts in her eyes as I walked closer toward her.Could he love a woman with only one breast? Would he be disgusted or repulsed from the ugly scar that stretches across my chest?I sat down on the bed and placed my right hand on her leg. She raised her head up, a small tear sliding down her cheek, and looked for a sign in my facial expressions. What is he thinking?No words were needed. I wiped away the tear, kissed her lips, and said, “Debbie, I love you and always have.” I looked down at the scar, took a finger and gently moved it over the incision. I could feel her body trembling. Is he accepting my physical appearance or is he just being nice hoping to get laid? I told her again, “Debbie, I love you.” Applying another kiss, I lowered my head and kissed the area where her right breast had been. She momentarily shuddered, I felt wet drops falling on my neck. I kissed and sucked the right part of her chest in an attempt to let her know it didnt matter. I truly loved her. I felt both of her hands move onto my head and pull me hard against her in an effort to make sure I wasnt pulling away. I wasnt. I was in the arms of the woman I had pursued for over thirty years and the loss of a breast wasnt changing my mind, not today or tomorrow. Nothing would keep us apart again.